A few years ago my wife and I had two boys living with us as a part of the Arizona foster care system. One of the boys used to love a song by Marshmello which sings “I just want to let you know I’m proud.” Whenever we drove somewhere, my wife would let each of our kids pick a song and he always picked that one. It wasn’t my favorite song, but it was a lot better than “Space Unicorn” and the “Sofia the First” theme song which my youngest used to pick.
Watching him listen to the song, I could tell how badly he wanted to have someone be proud of him. He has a deeply broken dad who gave his family cursing instead of blessing. He has nine siblings who spent most of their time in survival mode. And his mom, who is slightly disabled, spent all her time and energy trying to keep her kids out of foster care, which obviously didn’t work.
At the church we have a home for young men who have aged out of foster care. Four young men live in the house right now and each of their stories are riddled with pain. Like Rocky Balboa, they are fighting hard to prove they are not bums. They fight with fear. They fight with shame. They fight the government system. They fight with addiction. They fight authority. They fight to trust anyone. They fight themselves. And they even fight with anyone trying to help them. They want to see if you love them enough to climb over the defenses they put up. Sometimes I take them to get food or something and they will be rude and stand offish at first. If after that time I am still pressing into them, they let the defenses down and I get to see the real them. Let me tell you this: the real them is beautiful and unique and full of dreams and hopes, as well as desires to help others who have been hurt like them. I count it a great privilege to know them and to be known by them.
I am writing this email because I just want to let you know I’m proud of them. I am so very proud of them. I want you to be proud of them as well. And ultimately I want them to know Jesus is proud of them so they can be proud of the good in themselves.
One of the young men has been working hard to stabilize his heart and mind. He has quit nicotine. Did you hear that? He quit nicotine. That’s huge. When we were able to get close enough to his heart he shared his dream of being a mechanic. He wanted to attend Universal Technical Institute to be trained as a mechanic. What stood in his way were things like a FASFA, getting a driver’s license and a vehicle, and funds. One by one, he made those happen with quiet determination and consistent discipline. Different people in the church pitched in to fill gaps and help him overcome, but also he worked so hard. When the day came for him to go through orientation, he looked sharp and was full of innocent excitement. He has chosen to show up at the 6:30am class every day instead of the later class because he knows the committed people will be there early and he wants to be in that crowd.
At the very beginning of the program, his car broke down and his phone got stolen. He took those on the chin but did not give up. He problem solved, some people stepped up to help, and he never skipped a beat.
Though statistically these young men are on their way to prison, homelessness, or a brutal life of addiction, I am hopeful Jesus and His church can rescue some. I am proud of our elders who okayed the vision of this house for young men who have aged out of foster care. I am proud of all the people who have pitched in and stepped up. And I just want to let you know I am proud of this young man.
By His grace and for His glory,
David
P.S. Though this young man received a lot of grant money, he has taken on about $20,000 in government aid and $8000 in personal debt to make it possible to attend this program. If any of you would like to help out financially, we would be very grateful.